Sons and Daughters

I Love my daughter! She's freeakin' AWESOME!

 If you are blessed with healthy, happy, relatively normal (?) children or especially if your child is unwell, acting up or a royal pain (we've all been there) take a minute to send them some Love. If they have a mobile phone send them a text, or post on their wall a little reminder of just how precious they are to you. Yes, there are days when you want to scream at the top of your lungs and it's only those episodes of CSI (they'd work out it was me) that you've watched that have stopped you from sending your child into the next world (every parent especially if you have teenagers has thought about it - don't lie!). 

Being a parent is challenging (ask my cat!) but the rewards are immeasurable. Our children are our gift to the world and they are amazing! No matter how badly we screw up as care providers our children remain loyal and unwavering in their Love. It takes a LOT for a child to wash their hands of their parents. We really have to screw up BIG time for a child to denounce us. So let's give our most precious resource the Love, respect and ATTENTION they need and deserve. 

We're living in challenging times. Money is on all our minds and parents in particular are carrying additional weights on their shoulders. But let's not lose focus. Let's not forget that whilst we have a responsibility to keep a roof over our heads, dinner on the table and clothes on our children's back, we are mums and dads FIRST and foremost and our children (and partners) need to know that they are the most important people in our lives. It is not enough to know that you Love your children. It is not enough for you to ASSUME that they know you Love them. It is our single duty as parents and care providers to reassure through daily demonstration just how important our children are to us and it starts with stopping what you are doing right NOW and taking a minute to think about your child/children and remember why you are doing what you are doing and where your Joy really lies. 

Don't let the demands of world of illusion blind you to what matters most. 

You are NOT too busy to hold in your mind a wonderful thought of a child you chose to bring into this world. 

So do it. Do it now! Show them some Love and really feel in your heart the power of the gift life hasgenerously blessed you with.

If you are not a parent then think about the children young and older who bring Joy into your life and be thankful for their presence too. 

Today, let's make a commitment to show our future generation what they mean to us right NOW>

Lots of Love. <3

xxx

The Ex Factor: Lovers to Friends

Phone rings. It's one of my ex boyfriends. "Alright Girl! I'm in the city fancy lunch?" As tempting as wild mushroom polenta washed down with a Bellini or 2 is, I have another appointment so reluctantly decline. I haven't spoken to him since April and we've got loads to catch up on so we slip into a natural conversation about the current events of our lives. There are genuine and heart felt congratulations and commiserations between us. I really enjoy our conversation, he gives me advice and I give him advice and everything flows so naturally between us and I realise this is because we actually have a genuine friendship. I don't feel the pressure to be the all Loving, sexy, supportive girlfriend and he doesn't feel the need to be gentleman come all action super hero. There are no false barriers to hide behind. I see through him and he sees through me, we really are "Just good friends." And I absolutely adore him. 

Serendipity brought us together one afternoon. I'd been single for a while and he'd just come out of a long relationship so really and truly we were never really destined at that moment in time to have more than an intense and passionate 6 months together which we did. Loads in common bringing out the best in and inspiring each other.It was great but we were romancing on borrowed time. I wanted a grown up relationship, he was just getting over one so when he rang me and said "Baby we need to talk." I had an idea of where we were heading and although it was sad when he sat in front of me and admitted that he was still in Love with his ex I felt nothing but compassion, no anger, no bewilderment and none of the torture that comes from having lots of questions and no answers. As he opened his heart and honestly told me respectfully and kindly to my face that he couldn't give me the commitment I wanted I realised that I didn't want this amazing man out of my life. He was right we didn't have a future as a couple we had a future as something even more amazing, we had a future as friends.

When we get romantically involved with people our perspectives can go out the window. In a fit of passion and excitement we get caught up in the romance of what we want and can overlook the often overlooked reason this person has come into our lives. 

After having such a good open and honest chat with my ex I began to feel very thankful for his presence in my life. I appreciate him and I thank him for being the one who made the adult decision to end our relationship. But what makes me appreciate and Love him even more is the way he ended it. Instead of leaving me a "I'm sorry I can't do this." Post It note on the fridge or just ignoring me was kind enough to afford me the respect, compassion and kindness of ending our relationship with dignity. I respected him for this more than anything. I didn't walk away feeling used, confused or broken. I walked away with my dignity and it made a huge difference to what happened next between us. 

We weren't meant to be a couple long not really, but we had built an incredible friendship and neither one of us wanted to end that and we didn't have to. 

Today I've been reflecting on the saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season and for life and I agree but I think if you scratch beneath the surface of that adage there is another layer of learning. Maybe one or two exceptional people come into our lives for a combination of reason and life, season and reason. This then poses a new challenge with regards to how we enter and exit the lives we touch.

A brave, simple, heartfelt conversation over a Cosmopolitan in a bar transformed 2 former Lovers into loyal, Loving, lifelong friends :-).

It's Right to be Wrong!

My relationship with the God of my understanding is one whereby I can say "Father, I've been a dickhead (again)!" and he says "Yeah, I know! But have a KitKat anyway and I'll get your Guides, the Angels, your Ancestors, The Ascended Masters, The Sun, The Moon and every other celestial body that vibrates on the higher planes of existence to help fix your shit for you, again :-)!". 
And I say "Thanks Pops!" then make a nice cup of tea knowing everything is safely held in the hands of my Creator and that Divine Right Order will put everything as it should be even if I don't like the way it looks at the time!

I have never felt so Loved, understood or happy as the day I realised that all my problems stem from the same problem, Misperception. Misperception about what I am, what you are, what life is and why we're all here. To "Know thy Self" is to free your mind from all of the beliefs, fears and misunderstandings that governments, society and religion in particular have given you. 

The world as it is currently defined is designed to make us believe that we are stupid or failures, fractured and wrong for not conforming to or living by the rules the few made up to control the many. The 10 biblical commandments have been used and abused to turn the Sons and Daughters of the Creator into fearful slaves of a world that has forgotten the Golden Rule THE most important piece of advice from the Divine Mind "Love thy neighbour as thyself." I can't believe that it's not one of the 10 commandments personally! In fact I think it should be the only commandment but that's not for here!

The point I'm making is simple:

You were created by whatever Divine Being you choose to put your Faith in and I'm pretty sure that Being made you from a portion of itself, therefore, unless the Almighty you believe in isn't made from perfect Love then what else could you be made from? 

In the eyes of Spirit you can not fail because you are perfection. You come from perfection therefore what else can you possibly be? Perfection.

If you are perfection it must be your perception of what you view yourself to be that is not perfect. Therefore how you view the world is an error or a sin if you prefer the biblical term which for the record comes from the Greek it is in fact an archery term meaning to "miss the mark". In archery when you miss the mark you take another shot! Simple things. You get to correct your original error! And that's all a sin is! That's all any mistake is, just an error in judgement or perception. It can be corrected quite easily by recognising that it is just an error. No matter how deep the consequences of an error may run, they can be corrected and healed. They can! 

Kneeling before your own errors and admitting "Damn, I fucked up!" is the first step in correcting our perception. The second is admitting "I don't know how to fix this but I know a man who does!" And thirdly handing it over, all of it. Spirit can not heal what you can not release. So let IT go! You'll feel instant Peace and what you thought was a mountain will reduce to the size of a pin prick. You will see your problem through the eyes of Spirit and it will be transformed and it will be healed. 

The Mind of the Universe is bigger and brighter than you can possibly imagine. We are Angels in human form our imaginations are limited by our beliefs but let go of what you believe and suddenly anything and everything can happen and does.

You do not have to be strong all the time. We are children of the Creator, so be a child. It's fun! If  you want to count blades of grass do so. If you want to ride a Donkicorn (half donkey, half Unicorn mine's pink!) then close your eyes and whisk yourself into that world where everything is possible, everything exists and relax knowing that no matter what happens all is well. 

Being Kind, Compassionate and Understanding is not weakness. When you open your heart to Love you connect with the most powerful force in the Universe, you connect directly with everything every created, you connect directly with the Divine. 

Lots of Love.

:-)
.

The Love Equation: 1 + 1 = 2?

My belief in physical Love is that we are gifts to our partners and they are gifts to us. 

Romantic Love is a sacred union of two souls who come together for a duration of time that is appropriate for them. 

We serve as mirrors to each other bringing to the Light of our consciousness that which needs healing from our past, issues such as anger, jealousy and self worth.

All of our fears are safely brought to the altar of Truth in a truly sacred union and we are given a chance to see them. With our partner's Love, encouragement and support we are given an opportunity to review, assess and safely challenge our own beliefs. Here we can correct our perception of ourselves. If your partner reflects the beauty of who you are back at you, it is a gift. It is your choice however, to accept it and use it to transform into the highest form of your own being.

Conversely, the wonderful aspects that already reside in you are nurtured like the roots of a tree to deepen and expand within the limitless capacity of a relationship that is nourished by 
unconditional Love, compassion, tolerance, understanding and above all else acceptance.

The lessons of a relationship are not always easy but this is often due to our resistance as we adapt to learning something new. There are always challenges. We compromise but we ourselves should not be compromised. 

Love is our natural state. It responds to itself and deep down inside you already know whether or not the relationship you are in is a true union of the soul. If it is not then the challenge becomes one of courage. We are set the task of not following the impulse of our exceptionally clever ego. Our super smart ego/personaltiy/thought patterns are entrenched and know us so well that it can over ride moments of clarity where we know our partner isn't the right person for us to be with.

The ego acting our of fear, loneliness or desperation (guilty as charged) employs the most seductive and sophisticated of techniques of denial into conning us into believing whole heartedly (now there's irony) that the illusion of "Love" we have found is meant to be and is eternal. 

It is not because it is not Love.

"May you find in you what you seek in another."

Lots of Love

xxx

The Wind that Moves the Clouds

If we want to release a negative emotion then we must not ignore it or run from it. Conversely we don't want to declare war on it either as this only serves to entrench the emotion making it defiant and resistant to change. When our negative emotions dominate our lives it's hard to find release from the polarity of fear to our natural predisposition of Joy.

Negative feelings are our learned emotional responses to situations. We learn to be angry, bitter, sad, hurt and fearful when we perceive that an emotional need has not been met or that we have been unfairly treated. We seek emotional justice for a perceived act that has taken us out of our happiness. Some people seek retribution in blaming other people, they pass judgement on an external variable and in doing so they create emotional discord within themselves. 

How many times have we said to ourselves and others that this person did x, y and z,  therefore this is the reason we are angry, sad, scared, resentful, jealous etc. We nurture and reinforce our negative feelings by holding on to them tightly wishing we weren't so unhappy. Refusing to try an alternative potion we drink the poison of our own negative emotions through that extra glass of wine that turns into a bottle, joint, a donut, smoking, gambling, sex or that Friday night out on the tiles that turns into a Saturday night out and eventually starts on a Thursday.

Negative emotions celebrate our misery and keep us blanketed in fear keeping our backs turned firmly against the Love that radiates just behind our own belief in our own sadness. 

When we surrender to our negative emotions we give them a home in the form of our behaviour which then becomes an automatic response to situations that we teach, practice and reinforce repeatedly; thereby turning it into a habituated response. We don't even know we do it!

How many times have you not tried something done something or gone somewhere because you "knew" you wouldn't like it? How do you know if you won't like something until you confront it. 

Confronting our negative emotions is a challenge that takes us out of our comfort zone and into the void of the unknown. 

Your true radiant Loving self is like the sun, negative emotions are like clouds. Clouds are illusions, they are not solid. The wind can blow them away. And so it is with you. Let your desire to see the sun in your life be the wind that moves the clouds.

Lots of Love.

<3

What did you say?

The secret to accurate and effective communication with yourself and others requires a bit of effort but it is simple and it's not really a secret!

1) Make peace with who you are; this just means taking responsibility for the things that you've done, atoning for your errors and understanding that you do have something valuable to bring to the world. Peace allows your Truth to surface. Our Truth empowers us when we own it and speak in alignment with it. 

2) Separate your needs from your wants. Needs are essential to our emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual survival. We need to feel satisfied physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually and this can only be achieved when our internal need for validation is met with feeling inner peace. Inner peace comes from accepting the majesty of who we are. 

3) Identify your feelings. How you feel is a physical response that happens in your body. Feelings are the language of the body. "I am tired" is a feeling, "I am pissed off" is not! Most people are unaware of this and confuse their feelings with their emotions which are not the same. Thoughts create emotions that without the filter of inner peace create beliefs and behaviours that are often not in alignment with our Truth.  Feelings are the language of the body. 

4) Control your thoughts. The constant barrage of mental images, infinite scenarios, unfounded fears (creating anxiety) and beliefs that go unchallenged in a never ending stream of internal dialogue require management. Thoughts contain the raw ingredients of emotions. What you think will create your emotional state. Emotional states are experiences that are created the instant a thought arises. 

5) Manage your emotions. Emotions are shadows of what we are thinking. Emotions are the shadows of our thoughts. Thoughts come and go. When you ruminate and fixate your thoughts on one thing, when your attention is focused on one thought or set or thoughts you will experience the corresponding emotion. It can be positive, it can be negative it depends on exactly what you are thinking about.

When you manage your emotions you can honestly identify and communicate your feelings. 

Accurate and effective communication is vital. It is our internal script that we read to ourselves and that we hand out to others. What we communicate is reflected back by the way other people interact with us. If you are not communicating your authentic self, do not be surprised when the people you interact with do not understand what you are communicating as you intended them to do so. This is because you did not communicate clearly with yourself in the first instant. If you are not comfortable and confident enough with your Truth you will find it exceptionally difficult to identify what it is you truly need and thereby communicate this to others. 

It is your responsibility to communicate what you want to say with accuracy and integrity. It is not fair to expect others to just know what exactly it is you are saying when you yourself are not being clear. Subsequently, once you have expressed and communicated your Truth with total honest clarity the responsibility to make another person understand the full meaning and to respond accordingly is not yours. When we express ourselves to other people we hand over the communication baton and it becomes the responsibility of the other person to deal with what we have expressed. They will do so within the capacity of their own understanding which is why being connected to your Truth when you communicate is vital. 

Own your feelings, mind your mind and speak your Truth.

Lots of Love :-)

The Forgiveness U Turn!

A dear friend of mine asked the question: "How do you forgive somebody who constantly hurts you?"

This a BIG question not just for individuals but for society itself. When somebody's behaviour creates pain either emotional, physical or psychological distress, discord and disharmony within us, how can we forgive them?

There are two dimensions of forgiveness that need separating into their right aspects. First of all there is third party forgiveness which usually involves an incident or incidents involving somebody we care about being mistreated by another person or it can be from a societal stand point of a person we don't know personally committing an affront that affects us as a society and we feel the action as a society on this level. This type of trespass by it's nature is very individual and circumstance specific and whilst the objective remains to get to a point where we move past the pain, the path of forgiveness this requires is different under these circumstances than it is for the second and more generally applicable first person forgiveness.

First person forgiveness is the dynamic whereby somebody in our life consistently behaves in a manner that triggers us to experience feelings of psychological, physical and/or emotional pain. It is often sustained and repetitive behaviour that goes on over a long period of time often to the point where it becomes "normal" and our emotional compass is automatically set to deal and respond to this person.

When we are children we are taught what our value is by our parents, our schools, our friends and our society. If we are truly lucky to have been raised by a network of care givers and educators who nurtured and nourished our emotional needs with positive praise for the good things we did, gentle correction of our errors and received a consistency of Love; if as children we are encouraged to aim high and be the best because we are the best and there is nothing on this earth that we can not achieve with passion and dedication; if as children we were told that we were good enough, that we were worthy, that our bodies were beautiful temples and that a child or adult did not have the right to abuse us because we are sacred and that the fact that we are alive makes us worthy of being Loved, respected and adored then the odds are stacked in our favour that as adults we will grow up knowing that we are worth "it", confident, self assured and peaceful.

However, in reality most of us did not grow up with our sense of self esteem in tact. Nobody told us how amazing we truly are. Nobody told us we are literally diamonds in the sky and that we shine with very little effort. In fact no effort at all when you know who you are and what you are worth. 

"But what has this got to do with forgiveness?" I hear you ask. 

EVERYTHING!

It's fundamental because it is our self esteem that determines what we will or will not tolerate in the first place. It is our self esteem that teaches us as parents what standards we set in our children. Knowing what you are worth turns a dial inside that sets the bar for how you interact with the world and how the world interacts with you.

Society has trained us to expect people to behave in a way that makes us feel good about ourselves when the truth is nobody has this power. If you can not identify within yourself what is acceptable behaviour, if you do not know where to draw your own line then you are open to having your heartbroken and your trust violated.

Every single human being on this planet wants to feel inner peace and harmony. Our pain may have developed highly sophisticated and intelligent reasons why we can't be happy but our heart knows different. It is our heart that knows right from wrong but if you're brain has been trained not to speak your heart's truth then you will always be searching outside of yourself for peace and it is this search that damages our self esteem. We look for peace where there is none, in relationships (family, friends and lovers) that are destructive because what we are searching for is validation. We need to know that we exist and that we mean something to someone and when our dial is set on low we open ourselves to repeating the same pattern of behaviour. The people may change (new boyfriend, different boss etc) but the pattern remains the same. It is the search for somebody to tell that part of us that never got told as a child that we are OK, that we are good enough, that we are worthy of Love. 

So how do you forgive another human being who wrongs you? By going backwards and healing your own wounds first. Forgiveness is not about releasing somebody else from their behaviour or the consequence of what they have done. If a man hits a woman there is no justification for this action. If a woman sleeps with her best friend's husband, there is no justification for this action. Likewise, if your son steals from your purse or your daughter repeatedly lies to you, do not condone this behaviour. The action itself is not what you are forgiving, theft is theft, cheating is cheating! You're just choosing not to be hurt anymore. What you are doing by forgiving somebody who hurts you is releasing yourself from their action. "I forgive you." Should literally translate into "I release me."

Here comes the bit nobody who suffers wants to hear: "Nobody is coming to rescue you." If you want to move forward you have to stop wishing for a better past. You have to step right back and detach yourself from any feelings of guilt, shame, anger, hate and betrayal. All your negative feelings have to be relinquished because you need to heal those wounds in order to raise your bar. This draws your line, marks your boundary and empowers you to not let another person hurt you. When you know how much you are Loved unconditionally because you are the one doing the Loving you will not tolerate any other human being treating you with anything less than Love. When they do treat you with less than Love because you are coming from a place of Love you can stand your ground and reject being treated badly because their behaviour, (not them) is un-Loving. You can say "No, I will not allow you to treat me like this because I Love myself enough not to allow you to harm me." and mean it because the validation you were searching for from them i.e. the hope that they would one day be nice to you, has been found in you. It was there all along. Nobody told you when you were younger where to find it but that's OK because you know where the Truth resides NOW. It is in you, you are good enough.

Are you a half decent human being? Are you kind? Are you Loving? Are you caring? Are you willing to help others?

If the answer is yes to any of the above then lay down your sword, top up your glass and forgive yourself for thinking that you were ever anything other than amazing. We all have flaws but so do diamonds! So top up your own glass and let your Love for your Self flow and it will dilute and then flush out the pain of the past and reset your future. You will then attract into your life that which you are, Love! Like attracts like and people who want to harm you when you start to radiate your true Self will be blinded by your light and the choice then becomes theirs as to how they interact with you based on how you interact with you! 

Love is like Teflon coating. It protects us from all life's dirty sticky bits. It's antiseptic! It does not let toxic judgments and negative beliefs fester inside lowering our ability to receive the Love we deserve, we then effortlessly pour back out into the world unconditionally and then receive back again eternally. 

You are a valued and wonderful gift to the world. You have wisdom and insights to share. You truly are unique and a blessing, you always were. There is nothing dirty or shameful about you. I forgive you for thinking less than beautiful Loving thoughts about who you are :-)

I promise you that the gift of Forgiveness is Freedom. Freedom not from our past because you can not change what has gone but freedom from how we perceive it. 

So take a deep breath, open your heart, let the tears flow, forgive and feel your freedom coming, you deserve Peace.

Lots of Love. 

O is for Orgasm!

For centuries in the west, female sexuality has been a focus of shame, embarrassment, repression and cultural enslavement for women. Long before the monotheistic God of Abraham, women were adored, Loved, revered and honoured as Divine Goddesses whose strength and ability to bring new life (or death) made them worthy of glorious temples, shrines, holy days, festivals and priests. An invaluable equal sovereign to a King, female sexuality was sacred and celebrated. 

Sex is the physical expression of primal masculine and feminine energy (nothing to do with gender) and it is in sexual union that this powerful healing and nurturing force that becomes creation, literally or metaphysically. 

Why then do so many women struggle to express themselves authentically during sex? Why are women afraid to speak their minds and ask for what they need and want from their partners? The sexual revolution of the sixties may have given us more sex but it did not give us sexual liberation. What's the point in being given a Mercedes if you don't know how to drive! 

The female role models of today have become twisted ideals of the male sexual ego which has been taught to perceive women as young trinkets and dolls or masculine, old and unattractive in both cases unequal to their male counterparts.

The reality is women will never know how powerful they really are until they are completely free to explore who and what they are sexually in an environment that takes them out of their heads filled with judgement, fear and shame and puts them firmly back in their bodies. Intimacy is about connecting on the deepest most honest level with another human being and the most powerful part of this exploration is the female orgasm. Not the kind of orgasm that just forces your muscles to constrict rhythmically for a minute or two following continued friction (if you're lucky) and then vanishes but the sustained vibration of pleasure that courses through your entire body like a warm wave of prolonged peaceful ecstacy that prevails long after the act itself is completed. 

Like all relationships the female orgasm starts with getting to know yourself first. Name it and claim it! You can't understand what it can do if you don't know what "it" is! Take a look and see for yourself after all you know where your bellybutton is and that spends nearly as much time covered up as your vagina! So take the time to make friends with the most intimate area of your body. Give yourself complete permission to explore and discover how sensitive you truly can be. Touch, stroke and feel your own pleasure. Whatever feels good IS good so don't deny yourself. Enjoy each sensation and follow your own intuition and see where that leads you.

There are lots of different ways to deepen and nurture the female connection to the power of her orgasm but the most empowering connection comes through sharing. Knowing what you want and then allowing your partner to learn by watching and participating with you, the two of you focusing attention on creating the feminine orgasm together and sharing in the magic of the moment is truly wonderous to behold. And it's this level of intimacy, this level of connecting one soul with another that increases our capacity to Love and Love after all is what heals the world.

The Roly Poly Kid!

Tonight I got to thinking, what was the first and greatest achievement I could remember. I really had to scan my mind and was more than a little disappointed as I reflected back that I was struggling to remember anything as a child that I felt a real sense of pride and achievement in and then it came to me! "Roly Poly!". No I'm not talking about the jam filled suet pudding! My earliest memory of an achievement that I was genuinely proud of, something I had done all by myself was a gymnastic forward roll! I can remember trying so hard when I was about 5 or 6 to tuck my head really tightly into my knees and push off with my feet whilst catapulting myself headlong with some kind of forward motion. I remember that I would always veer off to the left all the time and collide with some big beige or brown clumsy piece of 70's furniture, amassing purple bruises and lumpy bumps that only made me all the more determined to be as good as Fiona Gallagher (princess of my class and not oldest child from Shameless - grrr!). I was so frustrated and annoyed that I couldn't get it right and I was trying so hard! If I could just go forward. I just needed to go over in one perfect circle, that was it. Just once. 

I rolled and I polled all off my mum's bed smacking the floor with my legs, head, shoulder, every time until one day my roll went perfectly forward!!! "I did it. I did it. I did it.!!!". I was overjoyed! Yep! So I did it again, just to make sure. I knew I'd nailed it because it got easier. I did it again and again all around the house. I was the roly poly master! I'd never been so happy or so pleased with myself to the point I couldn't wait to tuck my vest into my knickers and get to my next P.E class. I stood at the front of the line (even aged 5 I never did queues) and took my position.

Toes on the edge of the scratchy green cotton covered gym mat, arms raised above my head in starting pose, then bend, tuck in, roll, bungle back onto my feet, arms straight, stand straight like gold medalist (6.0, 6.0, 6.0) and take my bow. In my head the crowd were cheering. My first triumph over my fear, through the bruises and the frustrating doubt to achieve my goal. My first goal, a perfect forward roll :-).

The thing is that was a looong time ago!!!

I'm at the point in my life now where I've set myself new goals, new forward rolls and I realise nothing's changed. Whether you're 5 or 40 when you want something, when you are determined to achieve something. When every cell in your body bursts into life at the thought of achieving your dream because all you can see is your self taking a bow and hearing the rapturous applause of your heart, there is NOTHING you won't do to immerse yourself in your desire. No thing can stop you when you are absolutely crystal clear in your heart and mind about what you truly deserve and it's all you can see, sense and feel in every aspect of your being. When you are that passionate about what you want in your life there is nothing you can not do. 

But I realised that for a BIG part of my life I never really had a goal. I never felt a true sense of purpose, a sense of direction, a sense of being, that I was worthy of anything more than I had. I didn't want anything, not because I was satisfied or that I didn't have dreams or ambitions but because I'd learnt to be afraid. I'd learnt not to try. Somewhere along the way I had learned that bruises take a long to heal so therefore, it was easier to avoid getting them by not trying to achieve anything. I put away my child like dreams because I'd lost the fearless determination and imagination that had conjured up my wildest fantasies and thoughts. The magic of pure self belief that I had when I was a child had been lost along the way to becoming part of "life". How tragic. How totally sad to lose something so precious, so beautiful, so innocent and so true: my sense of self. Where did I lose it? When did I lose it? How did I lose it? Who taught me not to believe that I could achieve anything I set my heart to? Why had I chosen to believe it? Somewhere along the way, my thinking had become flawed and bogged down twisted by life. Life had gotten in the way of living and I'd accepted the limitations that had been thrust upon me that I had assimilated into like my mother before me and her mother before her.

But the truth is the sky may be the limit but MY limit is NOT the sky!

:-)

Love Unrequitted...

I wrote this note for and to someone very very dear to me. Initially it was my way of offering suppor and encouragement in the best way I know, through words. However, the more I wrote the more I realised, these were not just words they were more than that. They were a cathartic acknowledgement on my part to my own heart that I myself had finally healed from wounds that I had received in my own battles for and against Love.


I hope others whose hearts are breaking are helped and touched in a meaningful way :-)


You CAN NOT make someone Love you and you should not want to either!!! Love can not be forced otherwise it is NOT Love, it is OBLIGATION. If someone does not, can not or will not Love you unconditionally and of their own FREE WILL then you have to turn ot the one person who CAN give you the Love you DESERVE. That person is YOU!


No human can, will or is capable of Loving you more than you are capable of Loving yourself. Unrequited Love is painful, we crash and we burn it its flames. There is carnage and injuries! But then like a phoenix we are reborn into a new life, a new purpose and a new direction. We find what was lost. We find ourselves. We find a greater existence and we begin the GREATEST Love affair of our Lives, with ourselves.


No Love is more amazing than this! 


And then as time brings healing and time brings Peace and as the tears start to dry and we being to breathe again, our perspective changes, our eyes open and we see ourselves and the one who hurt us in a new light. We find strength in Forgiveness and Grace makes a home in our heart. The past no longer touches us and there is Peace. It will happen. I promise :-). 


YOU ARE AMAZING.


You have sooo much potential to shape and change the world.around you for the better. You are an advocate for those who have no voice, you ARE an Earth Angel. Do not forget this. 


This time right now will pass.


You are Loved more than words can say and you are precious in my eyes.


I Love you Lots and Lots. xxx

Believing What You Think Is Often Not Very Smart!!!

Today, I have been thinking about thinking and how thinking is bad thinking! LOL! Let me explain. 

One of my dear friends sent me an email that was full of feelings of sadness reinforced by negative thinking and self sabotaging self beliefs that inevitably had become False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR).

I believe that what we feel or our emotions stems from one of two places in our Consciousness, LOVE or FEAR. Whilst Love has all the attributes associated with a positive and happy life - Joy, Gratitude, Beauty, Peace, Inner Calm, Appreciation, Strength, Compassion, Self Belief etc. Fear is the polar opposite. Fear encompasses negativity in all it's forms Anger, Bitterness, Doubt, Self Loathing, Judgemental thinking, Blame, Suspicion and of course Hatred either for oneself or for others. 

Fearful living and thinking keep people prisoners, locked in cells formed inside our own minds. It's a self created hell often stemming from false truths handed down from generation to generation not only by society but by the people closest to us who are suppose to teach, Love and care for our well being. These people themselves, our parents, families and friends are often themselves just passing on the negative thinking patterns they themselves have learned. 

Most people base their fears on past experiences, or experiences they anticipate may happen to them in the future. By focusing on these two extremes of times they miss the vital component of what is the most important moment of their lives, the only moment that is truly real, the moment called NOW. It's the only one that's real!!! The past is gone, we can't go backwards the future isn't here and none of us are guaranteed the next 30 seconds yet alone the next day, week, month or year! So why do we choose to fill our heads and force our emotions to live in a moment that does not exist? And what are the consequences for doing so? Is there a benefit from rehashing past hurts and allowing them to dictate our future which inevitably becomes our past from which we draw our emotions in the present?

Basing my response on the inspirational work of Dr Wayne Dyer I'd like to share the following with you. 

Take every negative thought you have about your body, or your life and who you are and put them throught this test. It's probably easier to write them down but answer this question about  the statements  that you have written. 

Is is 100% TRUE? Without a doubt? Is it TRUE?

If it is not 100% TRUE then there is a chance that the self beliefs that you hold, reinforce and tell yourself about yourself and your abilities are WRONG! If there is a chance that a self belief in not true then there is an equal chance that the polar opposite i.e. a POSITIVE self belief about you, IS true. 

Reverse the negative statement of self belief that  you have written, replace it with the opposite POSITIVE statement. Now say this statement out loud because there may be a chance that THAT statement of self belief IS true too because the chances are you can't swear the negative statement of self belief is 100% true.

BEaring in mind these are both self belief statements that YOU have found by questioning a current self belief that is negative. When you put them to the truth test can you honestly swear without a doubt that either self belief statement is 100%. 

There are two statements, one of them is negative and will direct your thinking and the way you interact with your family, your friends and the world. It is a negative thought and such will reinforce ALL of it's negative attributes, manifesting negative results because that is it's ultimate destination and it is rooted in Fear.

HOWEVER, the Laws of Physics and the Universe state that everything has it's equal and exact opposite which means that there is also a positive self belief statement to countrer EVERY negative fear based self belief. A positive self belief statement will direct your thinking and the way you interact with your family, your friends and the world. in the exact opposite way to a negative self belief. Positive self beliefs are founded in self Love and Inner Peace. Positive self beliefs simply offer the chance to manifest and bring into your life all that is associated with Love, the source and ultimate positive force of energy.


When you break it down, there are only 2 choices in life when it comes to how we perceive our own existence. We can believe and subsequently invest our emotional energy into Positive or Negative thoughts. It's a 50/50 choice but it is YOUR choice.


Life is cyclical, it goes round like the spokes on the wheel of a bicycle. There are moments when the spokes are down and closest to the ground but there are moments when the spokes are pointing directly up to the Heavens and everything is possible. The only part of the Wheel of Life that remains constantly in motion without moving from its central point is the Hub of the wheel, the central point from which all spokes of experience extend. The Heart of the Wheel of Life remains constant and solid, in us this is our self belief. Life will take us up and take us down but the wheel keeps turning. The only choice you have to make is do you wish topeddle forwards into unknown territory and explore the world or peddle backwards and go no further than the "truth" you have created from you perception of your journey thus far?


Life is not easy, but it does not have to be hard if we take control of our thoughts and channel the energy of our beliefs in a direction that enables us to find happiness for ourselves and sharit it with others. But only you alone can do the work. No one else can make your life better. No one else can wish you well or Love you more if you don't wish these things and believe them to be naturally yours to own in the first place.


Objectively and Lovingly appraising your life and acknowledging the part you've played in bringing yourself to this point in your existence (you're not just a passenger in your own life) does not involve blaming, sabotaging or beating yourself up emotionally, physically or mentally. It is about releasing the misaligned beliefs of our pasts, the pain and the unforgiveness. It's taking ownership and responsibility about who we are. It's being feeling not just thinking positively in our desire to sincerely change our crrent thoughts into a conscious mind that Loves and supports continuously without judgement.


When you are down and lost in the valley of sadness you still have the choice to either sit down in the dirt, writhing in agony from your own self pity or say "NO". Enough IS Enough! I am sick to death of being sick to death! I AM choosing Light over darkness, I AM choosing LOVE over fear, I AM choosing ME! 


Why??? 


Do you really need to ask? 


The fact that you were born gives you the automatic birthright to be HAPPY!!! As the commercial says "Because you're worth it!".


So what do you choose to believe?


The past is gone, take only from it its wonder and beauty for the rest is dust..

The Return of The Gemini!

Hello one and all, friends :-)


It's been sooooo long since I've written a post!


So much has happened!!! I've been on such an incredible journey of self discovery that it will take time for me to catch up with myself  and blog myself up to date.


My consciousness and Heart have expanded at an exponential rate! I've changed so much on the inside and I've finally got myself some good travelling shoes that should see me through as I walk along the road that leads to true happiness. It's an amazing, beautiful and humbling journey. One that has filled me with so much Joy and excitement. I've figured out my Life's purpose and I've discovered a deeper level of inner peace through meditation and prayer. I'm still ME! Nothings changed that drastically, however, I am more grounded and feel more connected to my Higher Self, the true me, the one that wants to live only in Grace and Love. Sometimes, I think I might go "POP"!!!


Thank you for taking the time to read this post :-) I have thought about writing sooo many times over the last few weeks and wanting desperately to share my thoughts and feelings and to converse with everybody kind enough to read my posts, it's no real excuse but time and Life just kept getting in the way!


Anyway, I'm back and I'm ready to write, I hope you like what you read :-p.


Lots of Love


Jenna :-)

Where There's Life :-)

I was woken this morning at 4.30am to the sound of neighbours arguing and their baby crying and I just wanted them to STOP! Don't they realise that I live in the house next door? That my bedroom is adjacent to theirs? That I had to get up in 3 hours??? And whilst my initial anger was motivated by my own selfishness regarding my life (it took half an hour or so for me to consider that their lives are troubled) it got me thinking about the impact our lives have on each other in ways we'll never know.


We are all precious, unique children of Creation blessed with Life. Think about it. What are the odds of you being here? What did it take to bring you into this world? Your family tree stretches back for millennia, every relative as far back as time goes had to meet that specific person at that specific time to create everyone you're related to. Your parents had to meet, make love, that egg, that sperm coming together at that unique and specific moment in time. Such a delicate combination of events, Divinely timed created YOU! 


And your birth was no accident! You are meant to be here, a thread in the rich and glorious tapestry of Life. Without your presence, something in the world would be different, a little less wonderful, a little less beautiful. Whether you realise it or not you have changed the world by simply being part of it. 


Do not underestimate how powerful having you here is. Like a stone in a pond your Life force ripples outwards touching other stones and ripples changing the face of the water. The soft waves nearest the stone as it splashes are small and tight and close to you, think of these ripples as your family and as they spread out and travel further, think of these as your friends, neighbours, colleagues, commuters on your train, the girl in the coffee shop, the company operative who answered your call, even the farmer who grows the oranges for the juice you buy! YOU touch the lives of millions of people everyday and more importantly YOU have the power to influence how other people feel. A harsh word, negative comment, smile or a hug can impact on another person in ways you might not realise. How wonderful does it feel when a child on the bus smiles at you? How horrible is it when someone you don't know pushes you out the way? 


We touch and we change each others lives every minute of the day.  So be mindful of what you think, what you say and how you act for YOU are an amazing source of energy that radiates for all to see. So choose your polarity wisely (positive or negative) because you are more powerful than you know.


I believe we are souls in human incarnation each with a purpose to bring Love and Light to the human experience. Our Lives are not meaningless, hopeless or devoid of purpose.


Life is NEVER hopeless :-)

The Truth about Cats and Dogs (according to Jenna :-)!!!

I had this identical conversation separately with a male friend and a female friend and felt the overwhelming desire to write about it.


As women we are told we can have it all, that we're just as good as men and that we can balance home, family, work and relationships. Whilst I definitely don't deny that it can be done, I challenge the notion that it's actually right and beneficial. Le me say unconditionally that feminism is fantastic! Women should have the right to education and careers, we aren't just baby making, men sitting, house cleaning machines (definitely not in my case :-)! WE are intelligent, capable, adaptable managers!!! However, we are different to men. Men and women are two halves of the same coin, each side is vital, each side is equal, each side is uniquely DIFFERENT!!!


Women of the world, I know what we're capable of. I know that we can raise our children, go to work, run a household, own our own cars, manage money, study and do 101 things single-handedly in order to get the job done, however, ladies I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you but the price we've paid to have it "all" is emasculating men! 


Modern equality between the sexes is still in it's infancy and I can't help but feel that in our rush to prove ourselves we're disrupted the natural masculine/feminine balance of Life. 


What do we want???


EVERYTHING!


By the looks of it, education, marriage, career, sex, Love, children, home, physical, emotional, financial, intellectual independence - which if these things in whatever order make you happy are wonderful. However, we are WOMEN! We ARE aesthetically beautiful and soft to the touch. Our nature is to Love, nurture and support. We are the bearers to fruition of Life itself. We embody feminine energy. It is the source of our power and we should be proud of it ( I sure am) and celebrate the fact that essentially we are women, not men.


Men are physically stronger, harder to the touch and more resilient than us. Mother Nature designed them this way for a reason! Do you really wanna challenge HER? Just as the feminine role is to Love and nurture, conversely the masculine role is to protect and provide. Men Love being MEN!!! And they are BRILLIANT at embodying masculine energy - WHEN WE LET THEM! 


But our post suffragette determination to have it all, be it all and do it all has destabilised them. Men (and yes I am generalising here) don't know what we want because half the time we don't know what we want! I want a man (preferably my own) to open a door, choose a wine, tell me he fancies the pants off me, drive the car, walk on the outside, propose to me, give me gifts, pay for dinner and tell me "No". I don't expect a man to able to concentrate on my face when I'm talking to him and I Love the fact that when we;re on the phone "being friends" he's secretly wondering what I'm like in bed. It's OK! Be a man because I LOVE  being a woman and therein ladies, lies an amulet.



Ssshhh! Come a bit closer and I'll tell you a secret that every woman already knows...


We KNOW when push comes to shove, we can do all the tings we need to in order to survive. Our power, our freedom and our feminism comes from recognising that although we can, we DON'T have to! Most men want to take care of us. Most men want a woman to protect and provide for (not golddiggers). Most men want us to Love and support them (without the criticism). We nag and belittle men, no matter how frustrating (and illogical) their behaviour may be - we alienate and confuse them. They don't know if they should invoke the essence of who/what they are (masculine) because we're so determined to prove that we don't need them because we can do it all ourselves! 


Don't get me wrong, I'm not canonising blokes! Men, you have your part to play. Women need you (menfolk) to respect and understand that we are different to you. Whilst it is natural for a man to mull over a problem internally, to retreat into himself whilst he works it out, to withdraw, a woman will summon her girlfriends and pour out her heart over and over (cocktails help) just to get it our of her system. This is how women make sense of situations, intuitively, through feelings. We don't expect our girlfriends to charge out like knights to make things right, we expect them to listen, smile, nod, pour the wine and make reassuring "awww" and "oh" in the right places.


Of course a man hates to see his woman distressed, he wants to make it right. It's natural for him to fight for her corner, men don't know how to shut up and listen. They fix stuff! They don't realise that our natural need to vent and verbalise our frustration is just our way of processing our problems before dealing with them. Just like it's natural for a man to say nothing!


Men instinctively know when one of their own has an issue and they support their brother by taking him for a drink where the problem will be given 2 minutes airtime over a game of pool followed by another beer! Problem solved. It works for them just like talking it over on the phone works for us. Two halves - same coin!!!


Don't get me wrong, neither sex is perfect and we are all individuals with our own lives to contend with, however, fundamentally we are Yin and Yang, masculine and feminine, his and hers and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging it!


So let Love live.


:-)