The Sheep, The Shepherds and The Horses: A Tale of Life!

I was inspired to write this post after wandering around a page on Facebook and reading a conversation between two men that reminded me of a trip to our local city farm. 


It always fascinates me how people can behave like sheep or shepherds when it comes to their lives. Shepherds have a place to go a direction that leads to new pastures. They are aware of their environment and work in harmony with everything around them to get to new fields in life that offer new opportunities and fresh chances. The pastures may not be greener but they are new and shepherds seek them out. 


Sheep are different!


Sheep blindly follow other sheep gorging on the grass when they are told it is safe to do so by other sheep. They bleat mindlessly and complain in frustration when they run out of pasture or have to face a fence! They get helplessly stuck in ditches and can not free their minds to get out again. They perceive their situation as not of their making. They don't understand what they did to be there. It wasn't their fault after all. They didn't do ANYTHING! They followed the other sheep. They were powerless and didn't know that responsibility for their lives lay with them so they blame every other living creature in the paddock for their misfortune and continue to bleat.


Shepherds keep moving forward regardless. When the rain falls on them they put their heads down, dig in against the wind and keep walking till the sun re emerges and with thanks they lift their heads and shake the water from their hair. Shepherds may return to old pastures in order to reset their compasses but they do not stay long. The pasture is different because their travels have made THEM different. Nothing stays the same even when you go backwards. Sheep look down and see dry earth and bleat "Some sheep has eaten all MY grass. It's not fair. I don't deserve this situation. I can't do anything about it. WHY ME?". They do not move. They do not try. They can not see a positive resolution or an opportunity to learn from their experience. They stand in their own mess and bleat. Sheep are always surrounded by other sheep. Shepherds can find peace in their own counsel.


The irony is most sheep think they're horses!


Horses, similar to sheep and humans are herd animals, however, there's a HUGE difference between a horse and a sheep and how they appear to live their lives! 


Horses are big and strong, they are intelligent, respected and work hard. They are capable of travelling long distances without complaining in order to survive and sustain themselves. They are sociable animals who live in co-operative herds that survive throught mutual understanding. They do not provoke trouble but will fight to defend their young. 


Wild horses roam free and proud and hold their heads up to the sun. Sheep on the other hand are farm animals, domesticated and compliant, manipulated and easy to control. They are not wild or free. They are not expected to think for themselves, they follow.  Subsequently they are seen as food or clothing because they never challenge anything. They never try to live up to their potential. They bleat in repetitive mono syllables in their pens in an attempt to gain the sympathy of other livestock. It is easier not to try and escape and instead be lead by a dog who inevitably turns around and bites them. Such is the nature of a sheep.


However, it is wrong of me to judge sheep so harshly. They are creations of their environment. How can they be expected to be anything more than sheep when they are penned in and never encouraged to express themselves. I'm convinced that deep down inside we are all born with the heart of a Shepherd and the free unbroken spirit of a Horse.


:-)

A Twist in my Sobriety!

How ironic and appropriate that it's Halloween and I'm facing my demons!!! LOL!


I have a research report to write. It's actually due in two weeks time. Naturally, I'd rather be eating cake! Initially I was excited about it but then this weekend after making the time to start it, I procrastinated and found 101 "other" things that needed my immediate attention. I justified wasting my Saturday by telling myself that I'd earned the chance to relax. Yes, even I knew this was a blatant lie but it's what I wanted to hear so I reinforced the untruth with biscuits and mochachinos! But the restlessness kept growing and I couldn't concentrate on my arch nemesis television. I was feeling ratty and irritable and by 2am the energy discord I had created had exhausted me and driven me to drag myself to bed!


Sunday I resolved to face the challenge of my report again! I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to start the day, I meditated for 2 hours, took a long hot shower singing away, I got dressed and felt fantastic!!!


I got down stairs and shied away from my books and workspace. I spent the day avoiding my project AGAIN! This time by bedtime and having wrestled with my demons considering maybe I need a glass of wine or a cigarette (I stopped drinking and smoking a while back) my inability to write my report had created a genuine feeling of nausea, discomfort and ill temper. I was rebelling against my higher self and losing. I felt awful!


What the hell was going on?


Psychology is my passion, understanding the processes of my own mind and challenging the negative thoughts in the minds of others is what I Love. Why then am I blocking myself from writing my report and showing the world that I am a scientist!??? That I DO understand the scientific principles of my discipline.


This morning I woke up with a heavy heart regarding what is a very simple piece of research to report on. Why am I not happy?


The answer as always came in my moments of stillness when through deep breathing and meditation, I quietened down all the noise associated with my thinking and asked myself to tell me why I was generating blocks to my work.


That pure loving little voice deep inside that very rarely gets to be heard above the banging racket of fear, judgement, panic, anger, insecurity and self doubt spoke up!


I'm not afraid of writing my report, hell no! I can produce an outstanding piece of work and I KNOW it! I'm not afraid that I don't understand the computer programme required to generate my statistics or the background papers I have to read and digest before putting pen to paper. HELL NO! I'm not afraid of the work, I'm afraid of the OUTCOME!


What happens after I produce a really good report? 


I'll TRULY have to acknowledge to myself that I am capable of changing how people see their world, that I really do have a gift that helps others to see their potential for their own greatness and encourages them to stand in their glory. There's a part of me that's terrified that I can't do it. That the responsibility to change the lives of others is too great. That I am a fake! That I am out of my league and where will it lead? What happens if I am as good as other people tell me I am that I know I am? What then? What happens when I finally start to change my own world in a way I only dreamed about? What happens when everything my heart desires manifests through little effort because I have aligned myself with my life's purpose? What then? 


The RESPONSIBILITY!!! I'll have to be more mindful of what I do, what I say, how I act. I'd have to put my money where my mouth is and BE the example of the inner peace and happiness I know and Love so much. Oh Shit! I can't do this!!!


That was the fear at the heart of my procrastination, I wasn't afraid that I couldn't write the report!!! HELL NO! I was afraid that I could, that I would and that because I know in my heart that I'm on the right path I'd continue to grow in my own truth. 


I wasn't afraid of failure! I was afraid of success!!! My own success. My own potential to do good things on a larger scale. I am a confident, happy individual full of Love and life but deep down inside there remains a wound unhealed, that of an insecure child, unsure, full of self doubt and wracked with conflicting emotions. Wanting to do good things but not knowing how. A child desperate for someone to tell her "There's nothing to fear, you ARE good enough.". 


I am responsible for my inner child. I am the only human being who can heal the wounds of insecurity that lie at the deepest and darkest depths of my being. For me there is only one elixir that can heal the self doubt that binds me to waste time and self sabotage. Love. That's all I can do to help myself. So today I gently nurse my insecurities by changing my mind. I accept the challenge of my future, I embrace it because it's mine.It was meant for me and in my soul I know it's right and that I won't let me down. 


Faith in a Consciousness bigger and greater than mine calms and strengthens me because in the mind of the God of my understanding we are all perfect and in perfection there is no failure :-).

The Return of The Gemini!

Hello one and all, friends :-)


It's been sooooo long since I've written a post!


So much has happened!!! I've been on such an incredible journey of self discovery that it will take time for me to catch up with myself  and blog myself up to date.


My consciousness and Heart have expanded at an exponential rate! I've changed so much on the inside and I've finally got myself some good travelling shoes that should see me through as I walk along the road that leads to true happiness. It's an amazing, beautiful and humbling journey. One that has filled me with so much Joy and excitement. I've figured out my Life's purpose and I've discovered a deeper level of inner peace through meditation and prayer. I'm still ME! Nothings changed that drastically, however, I am more grounded and feel more connected to my Higher Self, the true me, the one that wants to live only in Grace and Love. Sometimes, I think I might go "POP"!!!


Thank you for taking the time to read this post :-) I have thought about writing sooo many times over the last few weeks and wanting desperately to share my thoughts and feelings and to converse with everybody kind enough to read my posts, it's no real excuse but time and Life just kept getting in the way!


Anyway, I'm back and I'm ready to write, I hope you like what you read :-p.


Lots of Love


Jenna :-)

Where There's Life :-)

I was woken this morning at 4.30am to the sound of neighbours arguing and their baby crying and I just wanted them to STOP! Don't they realise that I live in the house next door? That my bedroom is adjacent to theirs? That I had to get up in 3 hours??? And whilst my initial anger was motivated by my own selfishness regarding my life (it took half an hour or so for me to consider that their lives are troubled) it got me thinking about the impact our lives have on each other in ways we'll never know.


We are all precious, unique children of Creation blessed with Life. Think about it. What are the odds of you being here? What did it take to bring you into this world? Your family tree stretches back for millennia, every relative as far back as time goes had to meet that specific person at that specific time to create everyone you're related to. Your parents had to meet, make love, that egg, that sperm coming together at that unique and specific moment in time. Such a delicate combination of events, Divinely timed created YOU! 


And your birth was no accident! You are meant to be here, a thread in the rich and glorious tapestry of Life. Without your presence, something in the world would be different, a little less wonderful, a little less beautiful. Whether you realise it or not you have changed the world by simply being part of it. 


Do not underestimate how powerful having you here is. Like a stone in a pond your Life force ripples outwards touching other stones and ripples changing the face of the water. The soft waves nearest the stone as it splashes are small and tight and close to you, think of these ripples as your family and as they spread out and travel further, think of these as your friends, neighbours, colleagues, commuters on your train, the girl in the coffee shop, the company operative who answered your call, even the farmer who grows the oranges for the juice you buy! YOU touch the lives of millions of people everyday and more importantly YOU have the power to influence how other people feel. A harsh word, negative comment, smile or a hug can impact on another person in ways you might not realise. How wonderful does it feel when a child on the bus smiles at you? How horrible is it when someone you don't know pushes you out the way? 


We touch and we change each others lives every minute of the day.  So be mindful of what you think, what you say and how you act for YOU are an amazing source of energy that radiates for all to see. So choose your polarity wisely (positive or negative) because you are more powerful than you know.


I believe we are souls in human incarnation each with a purpose to bring Love and Light to the human experience. Our Lives are not meaningless, hopeless or devoid of purpose.


Life is NEVER hopeless :-)

Blog It!!! In the beginning...

Wow! So this is Blogging and this is my first Blog post? Blog Spot? Blog Bit? I don't know! What is the technical term for posting a nonsensical piece of rambling? I really am the world's worst technophobe, grrrr! I have NO idea what I'm doing suffice to say that it feels good, it feels right and perfectly timed.


I've spent most of today (lazily) putting this blog together and for me it's an achievement and I'm proud of it. There's something satisfying about doing something that you enjoy, knowing that you are on a new path, a new journey to somewhere unknown. I can't quite find adequate words to explain how I'm feeling right now or what's stirring inside me. 


About 3 weeks ago I met an incredible person who inspired me to reach down inside myself and dust off my "gift", an ability to understand how people are feeling, offer Loving, supportive and inspiring advice that for some reason seems to help other people (and me) in their daily lives.


I have nothing to sell, or anything to trade. I am my product! All I want to do is remind everyone that we are all worth something and that Happiness, Inner Peace and Love are in fact rights we were all born with and that are attainable, if you believe and trust in the content of your inner self and in the guidance of your heart. 


I often get this weird little tingle (it's the only word I can think of), a rush of energy that lives in my body cells that I often can't explain that tells me that there is more to living and Life itself than my limited 5 senses can experience and it's feeling/intuition that forms the basis of my Belief in the potential and goodness of mankind. My Belief is built on a Faith I have that I am but a drop in an Ocean that forms something bigger than me. I don't fully understand it and maybe I'm not to meant to because I'm human incarnate and I accept this, it gives me freedom to experience the richness of my experiences and the lessons I learn.

Life is full of lessons to learn, some easy, some hard, some painful and some are just fun. I've tried hard see the best in every situation I have been in - especially the ones that left me broken and often in tears on the bathroom floor sobbing "why?".

But each time I've gotten up, dusted myself off, laughed and gone positively back out into the world a little wiser but never jaded :-).

So here I am ready and willing to share my experiences and thoughts with the world!



Writing is not a chore to me, it's a pleasure that I enjoy and that I hope will be pleasurable to anyone who graciously decides to read my thoughts and share their own opinions on what I pen.


So to anyone reading these words right now "Hello" and welcome to my little corner of cyberspace. I hope you'll bear with me, get to know me, converse with me and come back and do it all again. 

Jenna :-)