Friday, 22 February 2013

The Love Equation: 1 + 1 = 2?

My belief in physical Love is that we are gifts to our partners and they are gifts to us. 

Romantic Love is a sacred union of two souls who come together for a duration of time that is appropriate for them. 

We serve as mirrors to each other bringing to the Light of our consciousness that which needs healing from our past, issues such as anger, jealousy and self worth.

All of our fears are safely brought to the altar of Truth in a truly sacred union and we are given a chance to see them. With our partner's Love, encouragement and support we are given an opportunity to review, assess and safely challenge our own beliefs. Here we can correct our perception of ourselves. If your partner reflects the beauty of who you are back at you, it is a gift. It is your choice however, to accept it and use it to transform into the highest form of your own being.

Conversely, the wonderful aspects that already reside in you are nurtured like the roots of a tree to deepen and expand within the limitless capacity of a relationship that is nourished by 
unconditional Love, compassion, tolerance, understanding and above all else acceptance.

The lessons of a relationship are not always easy but this is often due to our resistance as we adapt to learning something new. There are always challenges. We compromise but we ourselves should not be compromised. 

Love is our natural state. It responds to itself and deep down inside you already know whether or not the relationship you are in is a true union of the soul. If it is not then the challenge becomes one of courage. We are set the task of not following the impulse of our exceptionally clever ego. Our super smart ego/personaltiy/thought patterns are entrenched and know us so well that it can over ride moments of clarity where we know our partner isn't the right person for us to be with.

The ego acting our of fear, loneliness or desperation (guilty as charged) employs the most seductive and sophisticated of techniques of denial into conning us into believing whole heartedly (now there's irony) that the illusion of "Love" we have found is meant to be and is eternal. 

It is not because it is not Love.

"May you find in you what you seek in another."

Lots of Love


Wednesday, 13 February 2013

The Wind that Moves the Clouds

If we want to release a negative emotion then we must not ignore it or run from it. Conversely we don't want to declare war on it either as this only serves to entrench the emotion making it defiant and resistant to change. When our negative emotions dominate our lives it's hard to find release from the polarity of fear to our natural predisposition of Joy.

Negative feelings are our learned emotional responses to situations. We learn to be angry, bitter, sad, hurt and fearful when we perceive that an emotional need has not been met or that we have been unfairly treated. We seek emotional justice for a perceived act that has taken us out of our happiness. Some people seek retribution in blaming other people, they pass judgement on an external variable and in doing so they create emotional discord within themselves. 

How many times have we said to ourselves and others that this person did x, y and z,  therefore this is the reason we are angry, sad, scared, resentful, jealous etc. We nurture and reinforce our negative feelings by holding on to them tightly wishing we weren't so unhappy. Refusing to try an alternative potion we drink the poison of our own negative emotions through that extra glass of wine that turns into a bottle, joint, a donut, smoking, gambling, sex or that Friday night out on the tiles that turns into a Saturday night out and eventually starts on a Thursday.

Negative emotions celebrate our misery and keep us blanketed in fear keeping our backs turned firmly against the Love that radiates just behind our own belief in our own sadness. 

When we surrender to our negative emotions we give them a home in the form of our behaviour which then becomes an automatic response to situations that we teach, practice and reinforce repeatedly; thereby turning it into a habituated response. We don't even know we do it!

How many times have you not tried something done something or gone somewhere because you "knew" you wouldn't like it? How do you know if you won't like something until you confront it. 

Confronting our negative emotions is a challenge that takes us out of our comfort zone and into the void of the unknown. 

Your true radiant Loving self is like the sun, negative emotions are like clouds. Clouds are illusions, they are not solid. The wind can blow them away. And so it is with you. Let your desire to see the sun in your life be the wind that moves the clouds.

Lots of Love.


Sunday, 3 February 2013

What did you say?

The secret to accurate and effective communication with yourself and others requires a bit of effort but it is simple and it's not really a secret!

1) Make peace with who you are; this just means taking responsibility for the things that you've done, atoning for your errors and understanding that you do have something valuable to bring to the world. Peace allows your Truth to surface. Our Truth empowers us when we own it and speak in alignment with it. 

2) Separate your needs from your wants. Needs are essential to our emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual survival. We need to feel satisfied physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually and this can only be achieved when our internal need for validation is met with feeling inner peace. Inner peace comes from accepting the majesty of who we are. 

3) Identify your feelings. How you feel is a physical response that happens in your body. Feelings are the language of the body. "I am tired" is a feeling, "I am pissed off" is not! Most people are unaware of this and confuse their feelings with their emotions which are not the same. Thoughts create emotions that without the filter of inner peace create beliefs and behaviours that are often not in alignment with our Truth.  Feelings are the language of the body. 

4) Control your thoughts. The constant barrage of mental images, infinite scenarios, unfounded fears (creating anxiety) and beliefs that go unchallenged in a never ending stream of internal dialogue require management. Thoughts contain the raw ingredients of emotions. What you think will create your emotional state. Emotional states are experiences that are created the instant a thought arises. 

5) Manage your emotions. Emotions are shadows of what we are thinking. Emotions are the shadows of our thoughts. Thoughts come and go. When you ruminate and fixate your thoughts on one thing, when your attention is focused on one thought or set or thoughts you will experience the corresponding emotion. It can be positive, it can be negative it depends on exactly what you are thinking about.

When you manage your emotions you can honestly identify and communicate your feelings. 

Accurate and effective communication is vital. It is our internal script that we read to ourselves and that we hand out to others. What we communicate is reflected back by the way other people interact with us. If you are not communicating your authentic self, do not be surprised when the people you interact with do not understand what you are communicating as you intended them to do so. This is because you did not communicate clearly with yourself in the first instant. If you are not comfortable and confident enough with your Truth you will find it exceptionally difficult to identify what it is you truly need and thereby communicate this to others. 

It is your responsibility to communicate what you want to say with accuracy and integrity. It is not fair to expect others to just know what exactly it is you are saying when you yourself are not being clear. Subsequently, once you have expressed and communicated your Truth with total honest clarity the responsibility to make another person understand the full meaning and to respond accordingly is not yours. When we express ourselves to other people we hand over the communication baton and it becomes the responsibility of the other person to deal with what we have expressed. They will do so within the capacity of their own understanding which is why being connected to your Truth when you communicate is vital. 

Own your feelings, mind your mind and speak your Truth.

Lots of Love :-)