Sunday, 3 February 2013

What did you say?

The secret to accurate and effective communication with yourself and others requires a bit of effort but it is simple and it's not really a secret!

1) Make peace with who you are; this just means taking responsibility for the things that you've done, atoning for your errors and understanding that you do have something valuable to bring to the world. Peace allows your Truth to surface. Our Truth empowers us when we own it and speak in alignment with it. 

2) Separate your needs from your wants. Needs are essential to our emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual survival. We need to feel satisfied physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually and this can only be achieved when our internal need for validation is met with feeling inner peace. Inner peace comes from accepting the majesty of who we are. 

3) Identify your feelings. How you feel is a physical response that happens in your body. Feelings are the language of the body. "I am tired" is a feeling, "I am pissed off" is not! Most people are unaware of this and confuse their feelings with their emotions which are not the same. Thoughts create emotions that without the filter of inner peace create beliefs and behaviours that are often not in alignment with our Truth.  Feelings are the language of the body. 

4) Control your thoughts. The constant barrage of mental images, infinite scenarios, unfounded fears (creating anxiety) and beliefs that go unchallenged in a never ending stream of internal dialogue require management. Thoughts contain the raw ingredients of emotions. What you think will create your emotional state. Emotional states are experiences that are created the instant a thought arises. 

5) Manage your emotions. Emotions are shadows of what we are thinking. Emotions are the shadows of our thoughts. Thoughts come and go. When you ruminate and fixate your thoughts on one thing, when your attention is focused on one thought or set or thoughts you will experience the corresponding emotion. It can be positive, it can be negative it depends on exactly what you are thinking about.

When you manage your emotions you can honestly identify and communicate your feelings. 

Accurate and effective communication is vital. It is our internal script that we read to ourselves and that we hand out to others. What we communicate is reflected back by the way other people interact with us. If you are not communicating your authentic self, do not be surprised when the people you interact with do not understand what you are communicating as you intended them to do so. This is because you did not communicate clearly with yourself in the first instant. If you are not comfortable and confident enough with your Truth you will find it exceptionally difficult to identify what it is you truly need and thereby communicate this to others. 

It is your responsibility to communicate what you want to say with accuracy and integrity. It is not fair to expect others to just know what exactly it is you are saying when you yourself are not being clear. Subsequently, once you have expressed and communicated your Truth with total honest clarity the responsibility to make another person understand the full meaning and to respond accordingly is not yours. When we express ourselves to other people we hand over the communication baton and it becomes the responsibility of the other person to deal with what we have expressed. They will do so within the capacity of their own understanding which is why being connected to your Truth when you communicate is vital. 

Own your feelings, mind your mind and speak your Truth.

Lots of Love :-)


  1. Now this is speaking my language, I go through these states a lot, I find it hard to express my truths an frustrated when someone tries twisting it. but reading this post has answered some of my inner questions. Thank you Jenna L. power up until the end.

    Own your feelings, mind your mind and speak your Truth.


  2. Oi!

    We just met and … and inspite of my reluctance, I feel inclined to share a few of my neurotic perspectives. I want to be supportive. This is intended not to be critical … just a presentation of a different point of view; perhaps even just a different way of choosing words to articulate a similar point of view.

    Love, love, love ,love, love ….

    #’s 1 and 2 seem strong. I had a bit of a blip in #3. I feel sensitive to the use of “I am”. Briefly, in context – I feel tired or I feel anger/pissed off. I like the part about drawing a distinction between feelings and emotions. “Thoughts create emotions that without the filter of inner peace create beliefs and behaviors that are often not in alignment with our Truth.” That’s a very power filled sentence.

    I’ve been going ‘round and ‘round about thoughts … and thinking for a while, which brings us to #4.

    I’m not sure it is possible to control thoughts; much as it is futile to control feelings. I believe they both need to be free. We need to control our relationship to them. They both provide valuable information and can both be deadly traps… or not.

    #5 Yes, manage them. Yes, I agree emotions are the result of our behavioral choices. Thinking is a behavior – a verb. Thoughts just are – a noun.

    “It can be positive, it can be negative; it depends on exactly what you are thinking about.”

    My favorite Shakespeare line – “Nothing is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.”

    Excellent use of the term “manage”. I, also, strongly believe the world will be a better place when more people have a better understanding of their basic responsibilities.

    I hope that wasn’t too much.

    Love, love, love ,love, love ….

    1. Thanks Sammi for the reply, I'm glad the piece created so much dialogue within you. That's wonderful :-).

      Thoughts are thoughts we create them using our own inner dialogue. Our inner dialogue is driven by what we believe to be true about ourselves, the world and others which is why it is so important to be open to being wrong about what you believe to be true (about anything and everything). We are bombarded with a rain of thoughts everyday and we become habitualised to them flooding our minds with noise.

      There is a gap between thoughts that most people are unaware of it is in the gap that the Truth resides. How do you get to the gap? Be still, be quiet and observe the nothingness.

      Try this exercise: Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breathing. Breathe in deeply through your nose drawing the air down into your lungs using your diaphragm to inflate your body with rich oxygenated air that travels through your entire system relaxing your body. Hold the breath for a moment and then slowly exhale. Do this 3 more times and allow the thoughts that are generated to come into your mind. Do not focus on them as each thought arises turn your attention back to the sensation of air going in through your nostrils. Once you are in a comfortable breathing pattern ask yourself this question and hold it in your mind.

      "I wonder what my next thought will be?"

      Keep thinking "I wonder what my next thought will be?" and observe. You have just created a gap in your thoughts. How does it feel? If you are not having any thoughts but you are still aware who or what is doing the thinking???