Wednesday, 9 January 2013

O is for Orgasm!

For centuries in the west, female sexuality has been a focus of shame, embarrassment, repression and cultural enslavement for women. Long before the monotheistic God of Abraham, women were adored, Loved, revered and honoured as Divine Goddesses whose strength and ability to bring new life (or death) made them worthy of glorious temples, shrines, holy days, festivals and priests. An invaluable equal sovereign to a King, female sexuality was sacred and celebrated. 

Sex is the physical expression of primal masculine and feminine energy (nothing to do with gender) and it is in sexual union that this powerful healing and nurturing force that becomes creation, literally or metaphysically. 

Why then do so many women struggle to express themselves authentically during sex? Why are women afraid to speak their minds and ask for what they need and want from their partners? The sexual revolution of the sixties may have given us more sex but it did not give us sexual liberation. What's the point in being given a Mercedes if you don't know how to drive! 

The female role models of today have become twisted ideals of the male sexual ego which has been taught to perceive women as young trinkets and dolls or masculine, old and unattractive in both cases unequal to their male counterparts.

The reality is women will never know how powerful they really are until they are completely free to explore who and what they are sexually in an environment that takes them out of their heads filled with judgement, fear and shame and puts them firmly back in their bodies. Intimacy is about connecting on the deepest most honest level with another human being and the most powerful part of this exploration is the female orgasm. Not the kind of orgasm that just forces your muscles to constrict rhythmically for a minute or two following continued friction (if you're lucky) and then vanishes but the sustained vibration of pleasure that courses through your entire body like a warm wave of prolonged peaceful ecstacy that prevails long after the act itself is completed. 

Like all relationships the female orgasm starts with getting to know yourself first. Name it and claim it! You can't understand what it can do if you don't know what "it" is! Take a look and see for yourself after all you know where your bellybutton is and that spends nearly as much time covered up as your vagina! So take the time to make friends with the most intimate area of your body. Give yourself complete permission to explore and discover how sensitive you truly can be. Touch, stroke and feel your own pleasure. Whatever feels good IS good so don't deny yourself. Enjoy each sensation and follow your own intuition and see where that leads you.

There are lots of different ways to deepen and nurture the female connection to the power of her orgasm but the most empowering connection comes through sharing. Knowing what you want and then allowing your partner to learn by watching and participating with you, the two of you focusing attention on creating the feminine orgasm together and sharing in the magic of the moment is truly wonderous to behold. And it's this level of intimacy, this level of connecting one soul with another that increases our capacity to Love and Love after all is what heals the world.


  1. Very interesting read my dear and very true. I know of many grown married women who have never undressed in front of their husbands or have ever even looked at their own vagina's before. It makes me sad. We are the captains of our own sexual journey's and how can we expect our partners to know what feels good to us when we don't even know ourselves. KNOW UR VAJAY"S LADIES!!!!

  2. Absolutely Dina. It's a tragedy that women aren't encouraged and empowered to discover the true beauty of their vaginas. Female sexuality is much more than just "flicking your bean!". It can be a truly healing and nurturing experience for both the woman herself and her partner especially when practiced purposefully and not just as the climatic end point of sex. The neurological benefits themselves - increased serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin levels promotes positive mental well being that no drug can come close to. Besides having an orgasm and SHARING the experience is FUN!

  3. What a clear, logical exposition of a real problem that few dare to address. Wonderful.

  4. Jenna, Beautifully written and described!! Actually its the male partner's responsibility to take care of her partner and reach her to her orgasm before HIS.